Monthly Mind Power Questions & Answers

A It is so difficult when you lose a loved one. I can certainly empathize with the situation that your friend is in. You mention that you fear that he might never fully recover. He probably never will fully recover. When something like this happens it touches you at the very core of your being. Something is forever changed.

You ask is there anything else that you could suggest to ease the pain. Really, in the beginning, one must feel the pain completely and wholly. I think in our society and culture we're probably too quick to get over the grieving process. When a very traumatic situation like this happens one should have the freedom to grieve fully and for whatever length of time it takes to heal the wound that is within. Sometimes that might be a week, sometimes it might be a month, sometimes it might be a year. Nobody can tell what the proper grieving period should be. But ultimately one arrives on the other side, and from these situations, new insights, new growth and new directions come. For example, Candy Lightner lost her teenage daughter in an accident with a drunk driver and from this horror, from this trauma she eventually founded MADD, Mother's Against Drunk Drivers. And now MADD has chapters all over North America and has helped many, many people; her personal tragedy ended up being a benefit to mankind.

We do not know how your friend is going to deal with this particular trauma, but one thing that we know for sure is that all things work out in the end, and that each of us has a direction and purpose. The best that you can do is be there with him as a friend to console him, to listen to him, to help him and to allow the grieving process to take its course. And from there new directions and new insights will come to your friend.

A If your parents have very bad beliefs concerning money then undoubtedly what has happened is you have picked up a number of these beliefs and they resonate deep within you, affecting your choices and actions in life. It is up to you to break the hold that these negative beliefs have on you, or you will ultimately pass them on to your children as well.

In my book Money Success & You, I talk about the fact that one of the things that we need in order to create money for ourselves is prosperity beliefs. And one of the prosperity beliefs is that money is good. Too often we sabotage our ability to make money by thinking that making money is wrong or selfish, or that we should be directing our energies elsewhere. You must look within yourself to see what might be the causes. You say that you are making very good money. Well, you should acknowledge yourself for that. And I would suggest that if you have not begun already, you begin tithing, that is, giving away a percentage of all the money that you make. It can be a very small amount. It can be one percent, it can be five percent, it can be ten percent, but I like a percentage. Give away a percentage of the money that you make for good causes within your community. What this will do is it will help your community, and it will also foster within you the belief and the actual demonstration that money is good.

One of the things that you can do to find out about unconscious beliefs is to write out all your beliefs about money, and then examine them. Are they empowering for me or are they limiting for me? And begin to trace back any limiting ones. It's a lot like archaeology, a lot like detective work. Fortunately, any negative belief that we have either consciously or subconsciously can be changed. The fact that you are making good money now indicates you also have some very good beliefs about money. What you want to do is feel good and proud, feel dignity and respect for making this good money. I have a feeling you're well on your way.

A My heart goes out to you in your difficult relationship with your mother. Often when we have been raised in a dysfunctional family there are many resentments, hurts, beliefs, and aspects of ourselves that we have to work with. You mention that your relationship with your mother was at one time close, and yet, despite all the work that you're doing on
yourself, it has deteriorated. This probably means that you're stirring up old hurts and memories that were left buried, and that you feel the need to deal with them with your mother. This in turn very well might have made your mother defensive; perhaps she is not as willing to deal with them as openly as you are. You must give her the freedom to feel this way. You must approach your mother with the utmost love and compassion, allowing her to be who she is and allowing yourself to be who you are. If you can do this in all honesty and openness, then love will heal all.

A It's great to her from our readers in Sri Lanka. You have an absolutely fabulous country and I enjoyed myself immensely there several years ago.

Your question is a very valid and important one. You're absolutely correct in your assumption of the way that you use affirmations. Using the word not and using the words for things you wish to avoid can in fact cause them to happen to you. So you must be very careful in your choice of words for affirmations. For example, "I'm healthy without taking medicine," has the word medicine in the affirmation, and by putting the word medicine over and over in your mind you are reinforcing the concept of medicine. You can use the affirmation, "I'm healthy, I'm strong, I'm vibrant," or "Every day in every way I'm getting better and better." And your subconscious will pick up that indeed you are intentionally trying to do this without medicine. But actually using the word medicine can be counter-productive.

Regarding the smoking, "I'm a nonsmoker" is an actual descriptive term; it's a way of describing a state of being a nonsmoker, so in that case it is fine. But as a general rule, always use affirmations to assert what you want rather than what you're trying to avoid, and eliminate words in the affirmation that have reference to what you don't want.

A There are general affirmations that can assist you such as, "I succeed at everything I do." "Great things happen to me." "I always do the right thing at the right time." "Staggering opportunities exist for me." etc. You can also have visualizations that cover many aspects of your life. However I have found that these work best when you also add exercises that are specific as well. It is kind of like a one, two punch and very effective.

A On the surface it might appear that they are similar feelings, assuming the supposed feeling of intuition makes you fearful. But there are ways to know the difference. Fear of the unknown is common in the human psyche - worrying about what may happen to you in the future, fear of possible loss or bad situations. This only creates anxiety and stress, and this is exactly what propagates more fear, anxiety and stress. Fear feeds on itself and the mind begins to picture the most horrific outcomes.

The first step is to rein in all your fears. Using Mind Power assert that you are calm and relaxed; fill yourself with the exact opposite feelings - inner peace, love, and a feeling of connection to your subconscious and intuition. You will find that the unwanted fears subside.
Another method would be to treat the fear as a negative thought and use the techniques for eliminating negatives (as outlined in a previous topic of the month). Then you are more apt to know the difference between your intuition and unfounded fears.
When you work with the powers of the mind your intuition becomes a familiar friend, a friend you can recognize. Intuition is a gentle powerful feeling. It causes reassurance. It is guidance from within your deepest self and as such, when it comes to us, it makes us feel connected, powerful and elated.

A You don't imprint that "you're bound to succeed;" you imprint all the relevant beliefs about success. That your success helps many people. You imprint where you have succeeded. You imprint your creativity, your ability to harness your subconscious. You imprint a prosperity consciousness. You can and should vary your themes of contemplation. There are so many different ways you can approach success using Mind Power. Contemplate how many people are successful. Do you realize there are over three million millionaires in the United States? There is always a lot to contemplate.

A When you begin using an affirmation you will find you will change the words or tense a few times until it "feels" right. It is an excellent idea to keep the mind interested by changing the wording of the affirmation, yet keeping it on the goal of being enthusiastic. Also, looking at your above affirmations I would suggest dropping the word 'always.' Allow yourself the freedom to sometimes not be enthusiastic; otherwise the affirmation becomes too rigid and you will fight it.