Last month I presented the technique and art of stalking oneself (part I). I gave each of us an assignment to stalk our internal dialogue for the month, to notice if it is critical or supportive of you/others? Is it positive or negative? What are its favourite topics of themes? I asked you to stalk and listen to yourself daily, then at the end of each day to spend five minutes journaling about what you found.

Here it is one month later. Be honest, did you do it? And if you didn’t do it, do you know why you didn’t? Don’t dismiss what I’m asking you for in answering these two questions, especially the second. Most of you didn’t stalk and journal daily, I know that. How do I know that? Because I’ve trained and taught people for thirty years and I know the power of inertia and procrastination. I know the snares, bad habits and illusions we all struggle with. I know because I know myself. I have stalked myself. I can “see” myself. What I want is for you too to know and “see” yourself. So back to the second question, “Do you know why you didn’t do it?” Don’t answer right away. Savor the chase as you stalk the answer to this question. Yes there are the obvious answers that leap to the mind – too busy, lazy, forgot, not interested – and these are all on one level valid, but beyond these reasons there lies something deeper. I will stalk it for you because I know this territory.

19122317 - telescope on the beach in qingdaoEach of us struggles with our inability to execute our best intentions. It is easier to think than do. We fool ourselves by believing that our best intentions count for something. We feel proud and satisfied when we make promises to ourselves, as if we have done something great. Let me share with you a secret. Our best intentions count for nothing, because most of them don’t happen. Harsh but true. If you’re truly honest and stalk your life, you will “see“ this for yourself.

Looking closely (stalking), you will find some areas of your life where you perform and execute flawlessly, and other areas where you fail again and again. We usually settle into this routine. We accept it as life and dismiss it as unimportant. Besides, we tell ourselves, we are too busy making a living, raising children, going to school, meeting deadlines. You choose the reasons (all valid and true) you give yourself for not doing what you intended to do. But not executing on our intentions is a dangerous habit to have entrenched, and for most of us it is entrenched, and we don’t even realize it.

So without your doing any stalking whatsoever I have stalked for you, and have revealed something for you to “see.” Because that is the purpose of stalking – to see ourselves without illusion.

Now I would like you to think about what areas of your life consistently go unattended. In what areas of your life do you repeatedly make promises, and then fail to execute on them? Remember one of the agreements in stalking is no judgments. Don’t judge yourself, blame yourself or make up reasons why you fail to make changes in those areas of your life, just notice it. When you truly see this, own it and accept it. This is powerful. It is not resignation but realization. You are “seeing” yourself without illusion. It is only after seeing yourself that you can design a strategy to move beyond this ‘stuck’ area in your life. Don